The Moore family has grown by 2

graphics for moms





Hello. It has been awhile since I have updated and it is because we have been extra busy. Why? We have been traveling a lot to see our new SONS! Thats right. We are offically matched with the two most amazing kids ever. At first, it was surreal and almost didn't seem like it was true. On Oct. 6th, (my birthday) Matt and my adoption worker called. That morning we had phone interviews with the whole adoption team, and we knew it was going to be between us and another family. So, anyways, our worker said she had a couple more questions from the team. Then she said actually we just have one... so we had her on speaker and were waiting and then she said, "how would you like to be the proud parents of two little boys?" Matt screamed and I cried. This by far was the best birthday on the planet!

When we first saw them, we fell in love! Jeremiah was peeking out the door and smirking and Nick came to take a look and see what we were like too. We played ball with them a bit, and after that, we were hooked. They are 4 hours away at the moment so we have been spending a lot of time traveling to see them whenever we can. Nick is 10 and Jeremiah is 5. Both of them are funny,smart and super handsome! We have been able to have time with them, hanging out, and talking. They both tell some funny jokes, and both love baseball. They have very distinct personalities too. Its fun to watch them. Recently, we went to see them and trick or treat with them on halloween, which was really fun. Also, we just had them here at home for the weekend. Matt and I found out really quickly that our days of sleeping in are very limited, but those boys are sooooo worth the loss. These boys have made our family whole. We are now waiting for some paperwork to be processed and hopefully soon, the boys will be here for good. Both boys know and understand that we are a forever family, and have both called us their mom and dad. What an incredible feeling! How awesome.

Thanks everyone for your support and love! We know the road that lies ahead will be crazy and difficult, but it will also be blessed and fun. They have already brought so much love and laughter into our home and hearts!

We love you all. We will update soon.




graphics for moms

photo album

Hi everyone.
We decided to post a photo album on our blog as well. It is below. Love to you all!
Matt and Kasey

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

waiting equals patience

Hello friends and family!
It is update time again. Although things with the adoption look the same regarding to where we are in life, in the process, it seems for both of us, that things are moving along. We have had some downs lately but recently have been extremly optomistic.

All things take time, sometimes are patience is worn thin, but it will all come through in the end the way it is sapose to. As we talked about in one of our first blogs regarding foster adoption, often times, kids in the foster system, behave differently than other kids their age. Having patience and learning how to cope with the waiting, and the issues regarding being a "waiting family" help us to experience more patience. This is a learning experience, and will help us in the long run when we are parenting a child that need more patience in general.

This last month or so, we have been thinking pretty hard about how to make our homestudy stand out. Sometimes, when a homestudy is sent, we have no idea if it has even been read. The workers get a lot of studies for each child that is being inquired in. We decided to add a cover letter with a picture of us. The letter focuses on who we are, what we believe, where were are in life, marriage, and location. It also discusses why we believe staying open and in contact to loved ones of the children is important. Of course, the picture on the letter of us, is us decked out in Red Sox gear, as I am sure most of you would have already guessed.

We are going to make up a couple sheets of pictures of family and where we live. This makes sense to me, because having a picture to look at and go with what is being read, makes it more real.

On another note, work is busy for Matt. He continues to post to the field and is now being put up for flight chief, which is a cool responsibility, and he will do great! Kasey is busy in school, and is learning so much about muscles and their functions, its nuts. We are both so thankful to be doing things we love for work. What great support we have in our lives in all we do, including the adoption process. Also, today we celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary!


SO, thats the news for now. We continue to inquire in children from all over the United States. We also, have some hopes for things to work out in a couple seperate situations. We truly believe, that all the prayers being said are doing amazing things for this process. We can feel it! We love you all soooo much!

update on the summer

Hello family and friends!

It is that update time again. We are in the process of inquiries, inquiries and more inquiries. Since our home study has been approved in May, we have been inquiring on waiting children all over the United States. It becomes somewhat difficult because each state has a different set of rules on how to deal with waiting families. Often times we just inquire, let our worker Alysha know, and wait. Some states, can not talk with the families and only can have contact with the workers. Some states, can't give us information until we are matched on the children, while others can give a pretty hefty summary before we decide to submit our home study. Sometimes, we hear right away, while other times we don't hear a thing. The amount of inquiries each child or sibling group gets on them is very large, so the workers have a ton to sort through, making each child different in needs and attention attached to them.

We have been going through, what I suppose are the ups and downs of the process. We inquire on children and although hopeful we want to be realistic and not get our hopes up. This is pretty difficult. Every child we inquire on, we have hopes will someday join our family. We both do know however, the kids meant to be with us will find our home. We truly are blessed with the knowledge that we will be parents, hopefully soon.

We have been keeping really busy this summer too, which helps keep our minds off of all the unknowns. Matt is working as usual and doing a lot of volunteer work. Kasey taking summer courses which keep her really busy. We have also had the pleasure of having Matt's parents come for a visit to ND. We also went to Montana to visit some family and friends and had fun, laughing and spending much needed time with family.

We are so thankful, as usual, for all the amazing support and love we get from you amazing people we call our family and friends! We love you all so much. The encouragement and love is greatly and always appreciated!

BRING on the KID!

Hi Everyone!

We are excited to let you all know that we have signed and completed our adoption asessment. This is big news around our house, because we can now start inquiring on children. We can get more information on children we find on websites and adoption photolisting databases. Then, our awesome adoption worker, Alysha, will send off our homestudy to be viewed by the the child's worker. Often times it will go into a group of other homestudys of families interested in the same child. After this, the child's workers make a decision on a family that would best fit the child's needs and life. So, here is to the next step!!



It is so exciting because we are finally able to realize that we will be parents. There is hopefully soon, be a little person to teach and help grow in our home. It truly is an amazing feeling! We love you all and thanks so much for all the support you continue to give us and all the happiness you are sending our way!

~ Matt & Kase

Progress. Progress. Progress

That is right folks, we are continuing on down the adoption home-study road. Two events have happened since we last updated the adoption blog. I will start out by saying this is getting closer, which means we are getting more excited, anxious and nervous as the days go by.

A couple weeks back we had to go to the office. We had to get our fingerprints rolled and turn in our FBI background checks. We did that, which of course, Matt loved. Then, we had to take Taylor Johnson testing. It examines personality traits. We did one on ourselves and then we had to fill one out on each-other. We had to be isolated from one another so we did not cheat, ha. Anyways, as I was filling mine out and then one on Matthew, I realized I was filling out the testing really similar. Afterwards Matt mentioned the same thing. The funny thing is, as most of you know, the fact that we have similar traits is crazy. When we first got married, we fit the opposites attract idea really well! So, it’s funny that in the almost 8 years together, we have gained some from one another. I love that I am more like Matt! Anyways, so at the end of the day, we had finished all the prep work before our adoption worker started her home visits. We also conversed with our adoption worker to our first visit.

The next week, she was at our house for the first time. She walked in and we sat at our table. She also toured around the house. Marvin was quiet and in his house, (you heard correctly quite). Lucy pranced around, believing the visit was all about her and nothing else was as important. Then, we talked about some of our HUGE pile of paperwork we turned in. Let me just tell you, when you are trying to write a ton of information about yourself, it is extremely difficult. I felt like we were bragging about ourselves or wondering how to say certain things in positive light. It is not easy to disclose your WHOLE life; in paperwork to people you do not know.

The majority of the time we spent at this meeting was based on our family autobiography. We discussed our childhoods, which was fun. We talked about our friendships growing up and our parents. It was fun, because Matt and I did what we do best, and laughed our way through it. I talked about our neighborhood friends and kickball in front yard, Dad being my coach for everything and my parents making my childhood pretty darn fun. I talked about Carrie, and how I would follow her around and tag along with her. I told her about the nights I got to sleep with my sister were my favorite, and the bubble hot air igloos in our hallway.

Matt talked about his childhood too. His paper route was a topic. He also talked about his youth group and his friends there. He talked about his Dad and Mom growing up, and how he “helped” going on jobs with him. He talked about his relationships to his big sisters, who he always looked up to and loved a lot. He also told about how fun it was for him to annoy them a bit.

We then talked about growing up in high school and what kind of kids we were honestly. Matt described himself as a quite guy that spent school just passing through and then about his journey into the Air Force. I talked about my school and how I was always pretty social. Also I talked about my first friend Mitsu, and one my best friend Tawnya, both of whom I love and still consider the best friends ever.

The next topic was how we met, which is always pretty fun to talk about. We also spoke about our relationships with one another’s family. Obviously, Matt talked about how much he loved Mom, and the help she is with our monster dogs. Also, how he admired and loved Carrie. We also talked about our really close relationship with Aunt Beth and Uncle Jim. We told funny stories about the family. All in good fun of course:). We talked about Matthew’s family and how we have fun visiting. We talked about our Red Sox game last May with Matt’s parents and the fun we had. We talked about how it’s hard sometimes because we do not seem them often due to distance, making it hard to get to know each other. Also, we told the accent story, about me saying I had the accent as a kid, and had speech therapy, and Bob said, “Burn” on the first visit to their home in MA. Matt still tells that all the time. Which, is still kind of funny, sorry Bob Anyways, we talked about his sisters and the kiddos and Chris and his chainsaw starting fork.

So, now you are all caught up. We have about 2 more visits at the house and then hopefully, we get approved. It can be really nerve wrecking. All we can do is be honest, and hope we have what is needed. This Friday is our next meeting. I will update again after that. We love you all!


Kisses in the Wind ( A waiting child’s lullaby)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
Here you are each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are… whats taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send you every night.

March 7, 2009

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Today we finished our Adoption training class. HURRRAY!! (Matt had about 5 gallons of coffee each session, to "be alert and ready to learn.") It is called PRIDE, which stands for Parents' Resource for Information, Development and Education. Everyone in the state of ND that is planning to foster or foster/adopt (like us), need to complete this training to get through to the next step of the process.

We learned so much from this training! It was intense and eye opening which is a necessity to keep our reality in check. We discussed connecting to the child, and different reactions they may have coming into the home. One big thing, is that, we have a lot to prove to the child or children. Most of the kids that are in the situation to be adopted have big pasts, hard pasts and abusive pasts. We have to give them safety and constancy, even when they purposely try defy us. So, the big thing with this issue, is obviously patience. Things will be difficult. It may be a time of crisis for the child and the family as a whole, so we need to preserver through the tough.

One thing that really came clear to us during the training was difference in children's social skills, emotional and physical conditions. They showed an example of a child who was placed in care and eventually adopted. He was 8 years old. They then showed us a graph of typical things for an 8 yr old and this child's development. He was physically younger looking, more of about 6 or 7. Instead of being at 3rd grade learning level, he was closer to 1st grade learning level. His emotional status, was that of a 2 yr old rather than a child his age. His real world knowledge was that of a 17 or 18 year old rather than that of a child. This really hit us. This child was very different than you would expect him to be at his age. In regards to his real world knowledge, when kids talked about what sex was or made comments that children do, he has a completely different graphic take on the same subject. At the end, with hard work he caught up to his class in school and was placed in an adoptive family.

We also talked about discipline. Working through the agency we are, we are unable to use any type of physical punishment, including spanking. This is fine because we already knew that would not be an option in our family. These kids may need different redirection than others, and some things that may happen that others would punish for, we may choose a different route. Our child may still be at a learning level for that of a younger child. So, these are all things we will be dealing with.

Another part of the training that was really difficult was learning about signs and talking about kids that have been sexually abused. That was really hard to listen to, but we did learn a lot from the information given.

If at all possible staying in touch with certain people or family from their past is really encouraged. Most kids, regardless of how they were treated still love and worry about their parents. It's somewhat hard to understand knowing that they can feel this way about someone who did what they did, but it is true. Often times the Birth Parents/family have issues that they need to work on for themselves and just can not care the way they need to for the children. So, hopefully, we have some people in our kid's life that we can at least send letters through our agency to keep them updated and in contact.

We also learned about how to support the child through their loss of their parents. The kids will go through stages of grieving because a part of their life is ending. It is also ok for us to be sad and grieve for the past of the child that we will never get to be part of.

The coolest part of this training was at the end. We had a panel of adoptive parents, foster parents, a birth mother who gave up parental rights, and a teen in the foster system. They talked about experiences with their kids, about saying goodbye to the ones that were reunified with birth families, and adopting others. Matt and I were actually floored by the teen in foster care. She was smart,opinionated, sincere and well adjusted. She talked about her past when she entered and sounds like a completely different kid. Kids really are resilient with the right support behind them.

The biggest thing we learned during this training is that, no kid is perfect and no parent is either!

Our child or children may take a long period of transition before they feel like they are part of the the family. Also, these children come with different sets of issues than if they were born into our family. They have traits, medical histories and a past with a their birth family. So, for our loved ones, keep in mind, their situation is unique to them and they may not act or be comfortable with the same things their cousins may be. We will have obstacles to overcome that other families never have to deal with.

Thanks for continuing support for us and loving us through this process!

We will be notified when our actual home study will start. We are hoping soon, and our adoption director said that it will be quick now for us. We hope that's the case.

Next comes, fingerprints, background checks and safety assessments.

This process is very invasive, complex and time consuming. We are glad to do it knowing the end result is having a child to share with and help grow. It is however, really overwhelming. Sometimes it can make me mad. We work so hard for this while some people, that are drug addicts and neglectful parents continue to bring children into the world they can not provide for. It is something neither of us will ever take for granted!

training down, next stop home assessment.

Feb. 10, 2009.

Hello Everyone. Welcome to our adoption story... As all of you know, it is still a work in progress.

~A little About Us~

We met over coffee, actually over a tall double mocha to be exact.

We got married about year later.

We the moved to England. You know, where the Queen lives, and the place where real "football" is popular.

Almost 2 years ago, we were stationed back in the US. We now live in Minot, ND. It is about 30 minutes from Canada, just in case you wanted to know. It borders Kasey's home state of Montana. So far, we have found, ND is full of really good soup, we have the coolest mom in the world living with us, yes, you read right, and it snows here... a lot.

There are a couple of extra facts you must know about us. we are huge Red Sox fans, some would say fanatics. We spend a lot of time in the summer on our front porch swing. We also both keep trying to help the community in which we live, through our work and volunteering. Matt is a cop in the USAF. Kasey works in human services, with children and domestic violence.Our work means a lot to us. Our dogs are definitely part of our family as well. Our family means the world to us, and our friends are family.

Our next step for our family is adoption. This blog, particularly, is to keep you all updated on our adoption process.

We started researching the different types of adoptions almost a year ago. There are a lot of different kinds of adoptions; interstate adoptions, international, domestic, special needs, private, open and semi-open adoptions. We contacted every agency we could and made appointments with all the local placing agencies. After sitting down and looking at it all, the financial and time frames, state laws, country laws, and all of those factors, we made a decision to adopt through AASK. This is Adults Adopting Special Kids. We are adopting a "special needs" child. This can mean a lot of things, a different race, a child over than 7, children in sibling groups, kids with medical needs, emotional needs and or special learning needs. These children are all in foster care. The child's and children have had parental rights taken away at this point and are legally able to be adopted.

We are not foster parents. This sometimes is confusing to people because we are adopting through foster care. There are many children in foster care that need permanency. some will be adopted by their foster parents, others will reunify with family, and others will be legally put up for adoption. The last option is the way we plan to adopt.

We have been asked a lot about why we do not want a baby, or if we are ok with all the attachment problems, if we know what are chances are of getting a bad kid,and other silly things. So lets get this all cleared up now. We would love an infant, however, that is not the only option our heart is set on. We would feel blessed to let any child enter our home. Because a child may not be a cuddly infant it does not mean it deserves any less love than a baby. There are approx. 500,000 children in foster care in our country alone. We also know that most of the times bonds are not instant. We are not expecting for this to be easy. We also absolutely know this is going to take a lot of work. Trust is not easy to gain, and we will have to share with this child that they can. Next, everyone sees those movies or stories about the kids that were adopted as older children and ended up bad to the bone and often it is blamed on the fact that they were too old when they were adopted to be good. Not many people look at the amazingly positive side of adoption. There are many families who are wonderful that have gone through this process.

We are working with a really cool lady, from adoptuskids, thanks to our Auntie Beth. She found her and she really helps get the ball rolling with military families. Awesome.

You can actually go online and look at photo listings as well. Most states have Heart Galleries, these are pictures and write ups on waiting children. We are focusing a lot on areas in the country where we have people we can stay with. Here are a couple websites you can see waiting children, browse through them if you want!

www.adoptuskids.com

www.childrenawaitingparents.com

www.adoption.com

www.lanecountyheartgallery.org (Carrie this is a heart gallery for your area, that we are hopeful for!)

And there are so many more!

To all those soon to be aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents of our adopted blessing, there is a great website where you can order all sorts of books about adoption, if you want to learn more on your own.

www.TapestryBooks.com

Also, you can always head down to your local library and pick a couple up for free. (Give a holla to the fantastic librarians!!! Esp. the ones in Springfield OR!)

We will be starting our PRIDE training, part of our home study process the last weekend of Feb. After that, we will be posting more about what we have learned.

Keep us in your thoughts, that this process goes the way it should, and that our family can grow to the size it is meant to.

Matt and Kasey